ORGONE MOON-b

ORGONE MOON-b

201c

201c

HALOGENIC

HALOGENIC

i just ate the most divine spectacular grapefruit. it was a very pleasurable experience. i kept thinking, “wow, this grapefruit is fucking good!” and yes, it really was. and now i can die happy, the remnants of what was, dripping from a juicy grin. sweet and tart and just enough sin. take a picture, i’ll last longer.

RGBCITY

RGBCITY

CUZ I DON’T EVEN BOTHER ANYMORE

CUZ I DON’T EVEN BOTHER ANYMORE

the abundance game

i don’t need anything; i don’t need food; i don’t need nourishment; i don’t need protective shelter; i don’t need technology; i don’t need my cellphone; i don’t need music; i don’t need these wonderful cigarettes; i don’t need the lovely intoxicants; i don’t need entertainment; i don’t need boredom; i don’t need to be sad; i don’t need to be happy; i don’t need love; i don’t need fear; i don’t need hate;

i don’t need sex; i don’t need friends; i don’t need my guitar; i don’t need money; i don’t need a job; i don’t need something to do; i don’t need creativity; i don’t need validation; i don’t need earth; i don’t need sky; i don’t need my body; i don’t need my mind; i don’t need sound; i don’t need vision; i don’t need time; i don’t need booze; i don’t need weather; i don’t need sunshine; i don’t need clouds; i don’t need peace; i don’t need chaos; i don’t need hair; 

i don’t need to be careful; i don’t need to care; i don’t need windows; i don’t need light; i don’t need darkness; i don’t need respect; i don’t need you to love me; i don’t need me to love me; i don’t need you to hate me; i don’t need me to hate me; i don’t need to speak; i don’t need to be silent; i don’t need to be introverted; i don’t need to be extroverted;

i don’t need thoughts; i don’t need emotions; i don’t need feelings; i don’t need intuition; i don’t need coffee; i don’t need connections; i don’t need the internet; i don’t need social media; i don’t need solidity; i don’t need liquidity; i don’t need change; i don’t need constants; i don’t need numbers; i don’t need letters; i don’t need words; i don’t need hands; i don’t need fingers; i don’t need mindfulness; i don’t need mindlessness; 

i don’t need consciousness; i don’t need guidance; i don’t need confusion; i don’t need understanding; i don’t need judgement; i don’t need a community; i don’t need a social life; i don’t need common ground; i don’t need togetherness; i don’t need lack thereof; i don’t need rigidity; i don’t need fluidity; i don’t need sleep; i don’t need wakefulness;

i don’t need volume; i don’t need mass; i don’t need a head; i don’t need a heart; i don’t need smiles; i don’t need tears; i don’t need stability; i don’t need security; i don’t need safety; i don’t need sanity; i don’t need insanity; i don’t need normality; i don’t need abnormality; i don’t need you; i don’t need me; i don’t need talent; i don’t need attention; i don’t need solitude; i don’t need social claustrophobia; i don’t need gratification; i don’t need gratitude; 

i don’t need complaints; i don’t need to live; i don’t need to die; i don’t need to be; i don’t need to not be; i don’t need an ego; i don’t need to be ego-free; i don’t need a computer; i don’t need to make music; i don’t need to write; i don’t need to not write; i don’t need to not make music; i don’t need a government; i don’t need to be without a government; i don’t need power; i don’t need to be powerless; 

i don’t need confidence; i don’t need lack of confidence; i don’t need doubt; i don’t need surety; i don’t need purity; i don’t need delusions; i don’t need illusions; i don’t need clarity; i don’t need a lack of clarity; i don’t need to meditate; i don’t need to not meditate; i don’t need riches; i don’t need poverty; i don’t need material possessions; i don’t need to be without material possessions; i don’t need balance; 

i don’t need ability; i don’t need sunglasses; i don’t need eyes; i don’t need ears; i don’t need a soulmate; i don’t need a playmate; i don’t need justification; i don’t need perfection; i don’t need imperfection; i don’t need logic; i don’t need math; i don’t need intellect; i don’t need dreams; i don’t need the abstract; i don’t need drugs; 

i don’t need a past; i don’t need a future; i don’t need the present; i don’t need to live in the present moment; i don’t need to live outside of the present moment; i don’t need clothing; i don’t need to be naked; i don’t need questions; i don’t need the answers; i don’t need a helping hand; i don’t need to lend a helping hand; i don’t need to take; i don’t need to give; i don’t need to listen; i don’t need to not listen; i don’t need a blanket; i don’t need a mask; i don’t need an identity; i don’t need existence; i don’t need anything at all…

because i already have it all.

today, my brain is super-active, like it’s been hijacked with a plane being flown by some sort of human-ghost incarnation of all the amphetamines ever produced by man or beast alike. it’s an extreme restlessness and desire to explode into newness crossed with extreme what-the-hell-can-i-even-do-with-this-energy? a deep urge to get up and expend all my energy yet no idea what this energy can be spent on. how to discharge this?

not that it matters, sitting and concentrating on something for even 5 minutes seems like a foreign country speaking a different language meandering in slow motion on some eye-particle that can’t be focused on cuz it keeps moving out of vision. what is focus? have i ever actually been focused before? not sure. the very idea seems pretty alien today.

ever feel like some pod that’s been dropped on an alien planet and all the aliens you come in contact with are as confused with you as you are with them? and the alien planet is… earth! brahaha! vocalizing the stream of messages leads to gibberish and bliggerblaggering curmünchingry. who’s up for some tail-chasing? not me. i can’t find my tail. WHERE IS MY TAIL!?

Let go of what has passed. Let go of what may come. Let go of what is happening now. Don’t try to figure anything out. Don’t try to make anything happen. Relax, right now, and rest. Tilopa

i sip my coffee and wonder, what shall i do today? i want to do something today. something grand. something crazy. something different. the only things that come to mind are things i tend to do anyway. i have crazy musical ideas to put into motion but that’s no different than any other day. ideas for a guitar-ladened feedbacky shoegaze album glitter to mind. i could go for a nice walk through the busy city, but again, how is that any different?

i wanna get dangerous. like dying my hair with gasoline for that psychedelic gasoline rainbow effect. glowstick tattoos. dress up like a llama and breathe fire. i wanna get esoteric and weird, moreso than i already am. worship the sun through ecstatic dance. paint crazy masks and wear them in a public place. take acid and retune my guitar to the noises in my head, play my guitar like it’s an extension of my body, a limb that makes noises. learn to make my eyes bleed on command. cover my entire body in poster paint and attempt to melt into the sky. join a puddle. make friends with trees and animals and cool stones. make friends with anybody godamnit. i wanna live. i wanna live damnit! haha!

but for now i’ll just sip my coffee, take in some sun on my balcony, and think about how cool it is to be alive, loneliness aside, i am alive and the me-rocket is about to take off like a motherfucker. i can see it, i can feel it, i can breathe it. and i’ve lost a lot of weight in the past month, holy shitburgers! the cat is meowing at me.

souls, we are
in folds, dressed in gold
hanging from a lantern star
to hold the candle light afar
beholden, we are
on the black curtain
of a fool’s lament
dressed in stars, molten
like deep pillows flowing
down a mountain we fall
sad but beyond it all
something stands tall
calling from the beyond
all is not but a whisper
a silent tune, a hush
from the souls we are

Album Art

YOU ROCK RULE STUN IN WAVES — here’s a happy love influenced synthgaze tune that is also likely unfinished. it’s kinda weird in it’s sound design but it sure grabs the atmosphere. 

ArtistThe Very Loud Coma
TitleYou Rock Rule Stun In Waves
Album Art

PYRAMID FISH TANK — here’s a simple retro-sounding song that would sound at home in an action movie from the 80s. or somethin. it might be finished but i really haven’t made up my mind yet either way.

ArtistThe Very Loud Coma
TitlePyramid Fish Tank
No matter how you package your hatred, no matter how you justify it morally or logically through events and circumstances of the past or present, no matter what, it’s still hatred. That is all I have to say on the matter.